Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Mom.

 

I don’t know if you can read this…I’m sure Microsoft is working on MSN afterlife, but it may not be ready yet.  Know that we all miss you down here. 

 

It’s hard to believe that more than 10 years has gone by since you passed.  Most memories fade, but the events of that week are still as vivid as they were when they were happening.  Everyone has defining moments in their lives; the moments that make up who we are.  I know that your passing was the first such moment for me.  Having to lead a family that suddenly looked to me for guidance, plan out the funeral, and somehow try to keep myself together (which didn’t always work), brought out qualities that I didn’t know I had.  It was a horrible price to pay, but at least a little good came out of it.

 

I know we left things with a lot of unanswered questions.  I’m sorry we never talked about what happened when I was a teen.  There will always be lingering doubt in my mind, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.

 

I know you always taught us to live life with no regrets, but that’s impossible at times.  I regret that you never got to meet Tiffany…she’s a wonderful person, and I know you’d be proud.  I regret that the family fell apart after you passed…although I am making efforts to maintain contact with at least a couple of people, you were the glue that held us together.  And, although the rational part of my mind knows there’s nothing I could have done, I regret I didn’t make it home for what turned out to be your last weekend.  Part of me will always wonder if I could have helped if I would have been in the car with you.

 

Todd and I love you.

 

Matt